Giving AND Receiving

This morning I listened to the BYU Devotional talk recently given by Kent Jackson. It made me think about how important it is to give Esperanza stakeholders opportunities to receive as well as to give.

Jackson said that as a young adult working with friends away from home, people from his church would offer them home-cooked meals but they refused the service. “We always turned them down,” Jackson said. “… You see we turned them down because we thought it was the noble thing to do as we could take care of ourselves and we didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.” As he reflected on the moment years later, Jackson said he realized he was making a mistake and was being prideful.

Jackson shared another experience where he had been taught the importance of being able to receive kindness and service, including the memory of a thoughtful boy in Turkey. He had been on a bus waiting with fellow American tourists when a local boy boarded to hand out sweet cucumbers as a gift of hospitality. After the boy had given out the cucumbers, someone offered him money, which he refused.

“The American became insistent and eventually stuffed some money into the boy’s pocket, much to the boy’s embarrassment and dismay,” he said. “As he tried to escape to the front of the bus, others followed suit, putting money in his pockets or throwing it in his box. As he made his way to the front exit, his expression changed from happiness to disappointment to embarrassment to sadness. By the time he arrived at the front, he was in tears.”

Jackson described the boy as being deeply hurt. “His act of love had been prostituted into an act of business,” he said. “But the people on the bus—all fine people—felt good about themselves; they felt justified. Someone had provided them with a service, for which they needed to pay. They had paid their own way, and they didn’t want to owe anything to anybody.”

Too often we want to give the impression that we don’t need any help. Having this attitude is an expression of pride. Others have knowledge and abilities that can make a huge difference for us. In other words, we need to be humble and receive the “invitations” and “gifts” others offer us. People want to know that they are needed and have something of value to give. Feeling that one has something that can benefit others can do more for self-esteem than constantly being on the receiving end. Therefore, at Esperanza we want to be able to constantly think of ways we can give colleagues, parents, students, and other Esperanza stakeholders opportunities to give AND receive in authentic ways.